A Most Contented Day

Hello my sweet friend,

Today, I can say, has been one of the most contented in my life.  Nothing at all huge happened.  Last night was quite unpleasant with a severe chill in my body.  I could feel my insides shudder in tiny taut waves, but my arms and legs stayed still.  I was so terribly cold that I had to up in wrap both my quilts.  I tucked one around my head, leaving only enough of a hole to breathe.  My skin recoiled in the 70 degrees of the house, and so I had to tuck the hand that was holding the blankets to my chin inside the blankets.  I tucked my feet inside the hem of my nightgown and tried to disappear into my own body heat...of which I found little.

This morning  awoke feeling much better.  I watered the plants, fed the cat and bird, fixed TWS's breakfast, then I ate mine. I got dressed and put on my make up and did my hair.  I opened the windows.  I made a phone call to a company from whom we are waiting for a check.   I made plans and found they were superceded by other things I encountered.  I finished cleaning my room which involved unpacking a few things, organizing, going through TWS's items that he has not had the time to go through.  I shined the hardwood floors and cleaned the baseboards and vacuumed.  I cooked my part of dinner (TWS was grilling steaks).  I overseasoned the potatoes....a trauma that could ONLY be remedied with homemade ice cream.

Nothing of note.  Until......

"I awoke and told the Lord good morning.  I got out of my 'self' and focused on Him, just basking in His wonderfulness.  I praised Him with praises that were wholly inadequate for the blessings He gave.  I offered my services, anything I could do, and then stopped when I realized that I was offering from a sense of fear--that I had to earn something from Him.  I praised Him instead, and left that part of the conversation with sort of a "Hey, just let me know if there is anything You want me to do" :).

"I slipped quietly into the hall, as to not wake the puppy.  My wonderful cat padded down the hall with me and he was delighted when I opened the can of food.  I pause to gaze out the window to the scene of sun and grass and trees.  I drink it in.  Then I walk over to uncover my adorable little cockatiel.  He stops screeching (for I am late this morning!) and contentedly starts eating the nutriberries that I give him that smell wonderful, like sweet horse feed.  I watered the three beautiful trees I have in my 'orangarium' (sunroom).  While I thought keiffer limes were edible (apparently they are not so much), I know that the leaves are used in thai food, which is an impetus to try new dishes.  So I still am blessed. :)

"My wonderful husband comes down the hall.  While this means I will put off my breakfast to make his, I think about how much he does for us, how kind he is to me, and it is a small price to pay (I even get his coffee first--that is devotion right there :) ).

"I "see" my wonderful friends and family on facebook and I am heartened by their smiling faces from their profile pics. I keep my friends list very small to eliminate drama.  There is a great mix of all sorts of people--wealthy and not, single and married, Christian and not, liberal and conservative.  And a couple of odd ducks who are just really really neat :).  And I am blessed.  So much love and support and recipes and thoughtful discourse on one computer screen.

"I go back to my room and ready for the day.  I take my time selecting a nice summer dress.  It is going to be warm today, but not as warm as tomorrow, and there is something delicious about picking the right outfit for today.  I love how beautiful I feel in dresses, how flattering they are, and how I look put together, even when I am not :).  TWS laughs when we go to Lowe's because I generally get compliments (or the men compliment TWS), simply because I am dressed nicely.  I am older.  I am a little wrinkly and a little heavy, but a pretty summer dress and a ready, polite smile make anyone look lovely.  It is not any personal beauty I have, I think, that people, male and female, respond to, but rather a deportment, a sense of openness and lightness of being that sometimes happens.  People need to see people being open and light in such a jaded and fretful world.

"I put on my makeup even though we are not going anywhere.  Why?  Because my family still has to look at me :), because I hate feeling grungy and unkempt, and because I have created a whole dressing vignette on my dresser that tickles me to use.  I have a beautiful (inexpensive) box that houses my makeup.  I have my hair accoutrement in a drawer, all lined up and pretty.  I have hairspray and detangler and such on a pewter tray.  My window is open and I can hear the birds and feel the breeze.  I end my dressing how I always do--with one spritz of perfume.  And I feel pretty.

"I delight in going around the house, opening more windows.  I want every window and every shade open to let in beautiful light and fresh moist air!  It is a treasure to stop and take a deep breath and give thanks for this moment at every window.  Morning has broken!  My illness of the night is past and the day is beautiful.

"I organize TWS's pile of items that, bless his heart, he has not been able to get around to.  I do it as a surprise, knowing he will not mind.  When he comes in later and says (joking) "What did you do with my stuff?  Why didn't you just put in a box to go to the barn for me to go through later?" I say "Open your closet, look to the left.  See that box on top (I had put some of his military items that I figured he would not need in a nice sturdy SMALL rubbermaid)?  THAT is the box you can go through.  I put anything that I thought you might need for hunting in your drawers.".  AHA!  I outwitted him this time and I can hear the smile in his voice as he says "You did good, thank you".  One tiny bit of my time to ease his burden.  It is a smaller thing EVEN than making his coffee first! :)

"My eye falls around the rooms, making note of various projects that still need to be done, but they do not weigh on me. I have learned that the Lord organizes my steps so much more than I realized, and He will make things happen in their time. I just keep walking and doing whatever my hand finds to do (hopefully, as the Bible admonishes, with all my might, though I am still practicing that one ;) ).

"It is time to make lunch.   I get a sense of satisfaction out of choosing the potatoes for the oven roasted potatoes I am going to make.  I (too often) allow things to go bad because I forget that they are there.  This time, we had a wonderful assortment of three types of potatoes.  I FOCUS on slicing them well, practicing my kinfe technique like an aspiring sous chef on a cooking show :).".

Let me pause for a moment because I just realized what made this day wonderful--focus.  I did not let my mind go hither and yon.  I made myself focus on the wonder of the moment at hand.  How wonderful that first sip of coffee tastes.  How carefully I comb my hair.  How wonderful my husband is.  How sweet the humid air is.  How much I love the tulip poplar outside my window, how tall and straight it grows and how lovely the yellow and orange flowers are on it.  Every moment is contented, not because there is anything extraordinary in it, but because I have finally made myself stop and focus.  I am finally learning to have a "fireside mentality" (how you feel when you watch a fire on a cold winter night with a glass of something warm and sweet in your hand) in an MTV, commercials every second, frenetic, bright, garish, attention-span-of-a-gnat-on-drugs world :).

Ok, back to my day.  "I help my son out with his geometry.  He is frustrated by two column proofs, and I understand his frustration.  It is difficult when you really get the material to have to try to explain in such simple steps that it is like someone asking you to detail EVERY.  STEP. OF. HOW. TO. WALK.  As in "Ok, shift the weight to the left leg slightly, tense the thigh muscle, bend the knee at a 20 degree angle., now using your quads.....".  Plus, since it is on the computer, it "talks" differently than Sooperman does, and that irritates him.  It is an excellent moment, thank the Lord, to talk him off the ledge, build up his confidence, but also kindly and gently show him where he is letting his impatience run the show of material he could easily get.  But in the end, we are all together, homeschooling, and the worst day of homeschooling cannot override how wonderful it is to have freedom....together.

"The potatoes are done and I walk out to check on TWS at the grill.  I notice how wonderfully warm the sidewalk is on my bare feet and how the sun is shining so hot that the breeze won't chill me.  I tell TWS that this is the most contented I have been in I do not know how long.

"Lunch is served, and I overseason the potatoes.  In fact, they are mouth numbing, nose running spicy.  I feel awful for the rest of the family (I do not mind the spice), but instead of feeling miserable and ashamed, I console myself,  and everyone else, that the only cure for such is homemade ice cream--a solution that goes over extremely well :).  We all eat then get back to work:  the children to their studies, TWS to checking the well we have just installed, and myself to ....hmmm... what?  OH!  I could wax the wood floor with a new "Orange Glo".  I have never done this before.  However, I am tickled about how it is making my floor pretty and how it makes my arm strong.  I am taking care of my floors and can't wait to see how they turn out.

"After that, I realize my baseboards need wiping---much dust and hair and detrius has accumulated on the tiny 1/4 lip of the baseboards.  Also, the moldings around the doors are slightly dingy where people rest their hands.  Here I practice focus as well (because it does not come naturally to me!) and realize how beautiful the molding is, how much it reminds me of a Pride and Prejudice room.  Perhaps I am at Pemberly, and the molding around doors and windows presents each room like a wonderful garden arbor presents the flora therein.  I have been wanting a touch of English elegance in my house, and I would not have noticed how much of it I had if I had not had to run my cloth down every inch.  I am grooming my new house, and as I do, I am learning it, appreciating what the Lord has given.  It is not the largest house, by far, that I have lived in, but it is mine and here and I love it.  It is astounding, by the way, how brilliant the woodwork looks after a good wipe down.  It does not seem that dust or smudges that you honestly do not notice can make such a difference until you wipe them away.  It makes the house look like it has a new coat of paint! (I recommend magic erasers for this, by the way, they work marvelously).

"I am reminded by the Holy Spirit, as I sing in my heart about how wonderful everything is, that I could have had this feeling in Alaska.  My same family loved me there.  My house there was, truly, adorable and cottage-y.  I had the same work there that I do here.  My attitude, see, my attitude was what was holding me back.  Oh I do not mean that -40 is just as nice to sit in as 75 and a nice breeze :), but that, if I had made the time to focus, to stop reaching beyond my grasp, to know that the Lord put each of us where we are on purpose, and that we can choose to do our work diligently and with a full heart or not, then the "springtime in my heart" would have been mine to have there, too.  I lament the time I spent on the computer, and wished I had baked more bread by candlelight, made more pancakes on the wood stove, and took more time to focus on those moments in our little house at the top of the snowglobe.

"He is gentle in His admonishment, and I am abashed, but not made to feel ashamed.  The Lord wants to nurture me to His will, and He is kind about it.  I resolve to not let myself be swayed by petulance and what I am missing or yearning for...even if they are good and proper things.  Instead, I will try harder to retain this serenity in my heart, no matter what the circumstance is.  I can do this, because the Lord has given it to us--we just have to choose to use it.".

My day was content and beautiful, though filled with normal day to day things.  Do not wait as long as I did to focus on the moments He gives :).  Make your heart and your home a place of rest and serenity.  Make the effort, enjoy your work, let order and love reign and keep your eyes on Him always, stepping outside of your self to just embrace Him.  I promise it will be worth it :)