Oh my goodness it has been a long time since we have chatted! I will be honest, I have been going through some teaching and changes and the Lord trying to set my mind (ahem, will) to right :) Let me explain....
First of all, our tomato farm has failed. The parent company went under and left us high and dry. We are still owed many things by the company: a heater for the greenhouse, money for tomatoes that were taken but not paid for, etc.
It is tempting to be bitter, but I am not. I am not bitter because I trust the Lord. He has and will continue to provide. Whatever financial trouble I have, the president of the parent company has spiritual trouble which is far worse. There are lawsuits and such being filed against him by other affiliates, but we have chosen to not pursue that course of action.
Plus we have been blessed in what we do have--some of the affiliates invested money and have NOTHING to show for it--no greenhouse, no seedlings, nothing. They just lost thousands of dollars.
PLUS, if I can be honest here, I needed to learn a lesson in diligence anyway. I have been so double minded in everything that I have done little good. I had been looking for "the thing" that God wants me to do...and refreshing my facebook page until He reveals it.
However, that was a totally lazy and inappropriate way to be. The Lord, in His mercy and kindness, is slowly leading me to see that my work ethic needs some...well...work. It is not that I do not do anything--I have tons of projects and such. It is that I do not COMMIT to anything. I do not settle things in my mind as doing them for the Lord--I just do everything as a time filler. This is a huge sin on my part. I believe it is better to sit still in rest for the glory of God than to build an orphanage NOT to the glory of God but just to "fill time".
And sometimes things failed because I just did not do them in time, like not freezing food quickly or not planting before things died, wasting soap and water and electricity because I let the washer sit overnight and the clothes soured and had to be rewashed.
The Lord, in His amazing mercy, has been leading me to this revelation of the shortness of time and the fault of my thinking and the double mindedness I had been living in. I had decided that this year's word would be "diligence". I made a list of things to do due diligence in my home, in my life. He has been spoon feeding me bits of wisdom, as much as I could hold, and them reminding me of them when I forget.
This blog is part of the diligence that I need to address. Whether I do the blog or not, I need to DO the blog or NOT.....not just sort of post in the emotional high of the moment, then let it drag when I see another butterfly. I need it to be an encouragement to you AND to me AND to glorify the Lord.
Mind you, I will stumble again with that lolol. I am still learning how not to glide, waiting for some wind to give me a tiny shove. I am learning how to skate across the ice purposefully, deliberately, diligently.
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