A Rainy Morning and a New Start

For many years I have struggled with who I am, what I am supposed to be.  The Lord has blessed me with talents and abilities, just like He does with all.  However, I was always looking for THE right path, THE only way.

I think we Christians think that if we do everything JUST RIGHT that we will never have sorrow or grief.  We fear that there is only ONE right path for us.  I realize now that that is wrong.  First of all, we are going to havegrief and sorrow even if we are perfect (which we can't be), because this is a fallen world.  Jesus had grief and He never did anything wrong.

Secondly, I think we, all humans, tend to focus on the here and now--how we are supposed to make our mark (for either material or spiritual gains).  Sometimes we want the fame and respect, but sometimes we want to just "do what I am supposed to do".  So we fret over whether to be a painter or a banker, a stay at home mother or a truck driver, a writer or a computer tech.  We look for an identity, a tribe, a reason for our being.

We also may struggle mightily to find a "holy" job, not a secular one.  We might want to be missionaries because that seems more "holy" than a restauranteur.  We make our work our mission.

 But we miss the truth when we focus on the now:  bank accounts and computer programs, even beautiful art and excellent writing will all pass away.  What is eternal is our souls and the souls of others:  have we accepted the Lord and loved Him and loved others?

All Christians must be holy and loving and forgiving and generous and joyful and self controlled.  But not all Christians need to be tentmakers (like Paul) or sellers of purple cloth (Like Lydia).  Our careers are merely more vehicles for us to love God and love others.  My kindness to an employee at the ice cream shop is not any different or more or less holy than my kindness to an employee at a bank.  Our love to our children (such as a SAHM) is not any less holy or "official" than love shown to other children (such as a teacher or day care worker).

I finally have, thank the Lord, adjusted the error in my thinking that I had to find the one right "thing to do" with my life.  I DO have to follow the Word of God--to love my husband and children, to be busy at home and make my home, to be kind.  I must be gentle and forgiving, loving and humble.  I must act justly and love mercy and walk humbly with my God.

Whether I do that selling purple cloth or making tents or as a theoretical physicist or as a computer tech, it is all good.

So instead of finding a path, I have found a mission that works on any path.
-I will try to keep my focus on God always, cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, humbleness, and self control
-I will show the love of God to all as much as I am able:  being nice to snippy waitresses or asking weary moms if they are ok and if I can help or dealing with any grouchy bosses or clients I may have someday with humor and forbearance
-I will start at home, with my husband and children, and see what they need from me.
-I will spread my net to see if anyone else I know needs anything from me.
-I will be diligent with my chores (be they house chores, farm chores, or work chores)
-I will look at my talents and godly desires (for He makes us to Will and to Do for His good pleasure) and opportunities and be earnest in developing them for His glory.


It is raining this morning, a fresh, drenching, cleansing rain that fills dry ponds and plumps up withering leaves that had used their last resources to try to stay alive.  This rain is washing away my errant thinking and starting me refreshed and renewed, with the scent of petrichor and wet leaves and clean air.  My little oil lamp has seen me through the dimness of pre-dawn to the bright, soft light of a diffused sun.  I have prayed and thought and resolved.  I am ready for my new start.

PS, this is what Bonnie Gray, author of Finding Spiritual Whitespace, posted after I wrote this blog!  The Lord confirmed and affirmed--let me never forget!!!

"i woke up to the sound of soft rain, for the first time this autumn. so i put on my shoes, took my raincoat and umbrella, and walked across a wooden bridge and some freshly, fallen wet leaves. it was so quiet and peaceful, i whispered, thank you, God. and i felt Him whisper in return, "you don't have to wonder...i will make all things new again. i make all things new in you." // "then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and olive oil." deut.11:14 -- 🍃 think of everything that is beautiful -- then, remember, everything beautiful will be made new in you. with Him. new grain. new wine. new oil. 💕 ‪#‎SpiritualWhitespace‬"