I am sick. I woke up two nights ago because the dog needed to go out. I got a drink of water, laid back down, and my lower lip swelled up hugely. I had no reason to believe it was allergies--I am not allergic to water--but I took a couple of benadryl just in case and went back to sleep.
Flash forward two days and it is very obviously a virus of some sort with a sore mouth, headache, malaise, etc. For some reason viruses tend to start in my mouth. I have been on the couch or in bed for two days, and today is the first day I don't have the "fever/chills/pitiful/virusy" feeling.
But truthfully this bug is a blessing on so many levels! First of all, I get to rest on purpose without (much) guilt (though it was funny, apparently I was apologising all day yesterday and did not realize it. I must have been more out of it than I thought.).
Second, four words: Ice. Cream. For. Breakfast. :D
Thirdly, this bug could be sooooo much worse.
Fourthly, and most importantly, I am spending a lot of time with the Lord. Generally I would be binge watching Pride and Prejudice (though the first day Precious and I did watch several hours of Star Trek Voyager). However, instead I am able to use this time to hang out with God. I get to practice stilling my soul (which is like holding the ocean back with a broom for me). I get to feel His Sweet Presence around my bed. He is not talking to me, but just sitting quietly with me. I got to finish the autobiography of St Ignatius on my Kindle, which is an amazing account of his life.
I get to examine my soul and my spirit and my heart and my life--like a weekend retreat without the bill. There are things the Lord is wanting me to learn and He has given me this time to do so.
For example, reading the autobiography reminded me to accept this illness for His glory. There is no suffering that we as His holy and beloved children will endure that He will not turn for His glory and our good. Therefore there is no fear for us anymore. If we suffer for Him, we will be rewarded by Him. Like the Word admonishes, we can live contently in plenty or in want, in persecutions or blessings. In all things we live for Him and He in us, and there is no more wonderful place to be.
In fact, I will confess that I was sort of hoping for a bit of a cold several days ago. I knew I needed forced rest, to be too sick and out of energy to feel driven to "go and do" (which is my normal mode), but not so sick that I could not function or think, so that I could have some time with my God. I know that sometimes a physical ailment can bring health to the spirit. The saints of old used self scourging to bring focus to their spirits. I just need a sore throat (not sure if that speaks to me being easy to teach or a wimp :D )
Then my sweet friend, who knew nothing of my desire to draw closer to the Lord in this illness, last night prayed for my healing BUT ALSO prayed to the Lord "to turn this time into something precious between the two of you". How beautifully ordained that she would pray that spontaneously! It is the Lord.
So, my friend....if you are suffering currently, if you are sick and weary or tired and hungry in heart, body, mind, spirit, I gently urge you to reframe your troubles into the understanding of the glory of God working in you. His power is made perfect in our weakness. He does not let us suffer wantonly, uselessly, but will give beauty for ashes. Our faithfulness in hard times, in condemnations, in thirsts is a crown of glory for us.
It is when we can say, and truly mean "Poverty and riches are the same to me as long as they are being used for His Glory. Being in chains for my God is the same abundant blessing to me as being in His garden. As long as whatever situation brings me closer to Him, I welcome it.", then I think we will have achieved a holy state of being.
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