Struggling With Faith When Others Seem To Get It

My dear one,

I was thinking today about my faith walk.  My faith is so much stronger than it used to be.  I have endured much through the grace of God and He has made me better than I ever could be alone.  I have known joy in trial, how to forgive, and even occasionally (perhaps rarely :) ), patience.

However, it has not always been this way.  I remember feeling like a fake at church.  I remember praying and my prayers seeming to get stuck in the popcorn ceiling.  I remember doubts and even a fair bit of grouchiness to the Lord.  I have felt far and sinful, and sometimes I even deliberately WENT far and sinful.  When I saw people with such deep sincere faith--their voice filled with hope, their faces filled with peace and their days filled with joy--it made me feel like a phony.   I yearned for the Lord, but could not figure out how to find what they had.

Read that last sentence, my sweet one, because the start of the secret to finding what I was seeking lies in there--I yearned for the Lord.  That is all I needed to do!  I desired Him and eagerly, if imperfectly, sought Him.

So where did I go wrong and why didn't I feel close to Him?  Because I kept trying to make faith instead of accept what He gave.  I kept trying to earn His love instead of just letting Him love me.  I kept trying to MAKE and to DO and to FORCE when I needed to TRUST and REST and BE.

You see, He already loves you.  He already has taken care of you.  You would not desire Him if He had not put that there in you....so your very longing for Him is proof for you that you have Him.  Truly, let me say that again:  your desiring Him means that He is there for you.  He will never leave you--even when you are doubtful or concerned or grouchy. 

(Now, if you do not long for Him, all is not lost.  People come to Him at different times.  But I encourage you strongly to start looking for Him and He will be right there for you. )

I discovered that my problem is that I was striving because I did not really accept and understand His love.  Once I started resting in His love, suddenly faith and a faithful life became a lot easier.  Suddenly there was no condemnation of old sins....or new sins!  Suddenly my prayers went farther than the roof and church went from "have to" to "want to". 

In fact, I found that my prayers became more real and fulfilling when I stopped only saying "God I love You" and instead started sometimes saying "God You love me"!  We love Him because he first loved us....but we forget that last part and sometimes never understood it at all.  So if you love Him then you KNOW that He loves you.  You can rest in that.  The Bible declares it.

So if you are like I was (and honestly, still am from time to time) intimidated because you don't weep at church or glow with supernatural joy, just be patient my love.  Draw closer to Him and He WILL draw closer to you--He never lies and He said this very thing.  Start with the basics:  accepting in your heart His love for you.  Everything else will fall into place, I promise.

The Great Chicken Shuffle

My dear one,

My how time flies!  Yesterday it was time for the Itty Biddies to go to the coop with the grown chickens.  It seemed just a couple of weeks ago we were beside ourselves with excitement as the first pips of our first chicks from our first chickens had begun!

It has been a (rather dusty) pleasure to have them in our living room.  We practiced good care of the brooder so the only odor was fresh pine shavings.  It was fun to watch them "battle" and play and bicker and try to peck through the walls of the brooder.

However, we needed to integrate them with the big flock soon.  I want Chandler to be the head rooster, as his temperament is just too wonderful for words.  I am hoping that he can establish his authority since the Itty Biddies are not fully grown.

TWS put a wire corral in the floor of the coop and covered it with wood for them to go in.  This allows the grown chickens and the biddies to get used to each other before they are fully integrated.  We also banded them. 

The Itty Biddies a few days ago.  Look how beautiful their tails are coming in!!

 

A closer shot.  They loved playing king of the roost when we first put it in.

 

Then the two Micro Biddies got to be in the big brooder!  They moved from the tiny starter brooder to the large brooder that the Itty Biddies had been in.  They have so much room!  Too much, in fact--  TWS came in this morning and found them huddling in a corner beside their heating plate.  We had to move the heating plate to where they were so they did not get cold.

They are still in my kitchen, in the big brooder, but my living room is currently chicken free and much more quiet.

 You can see the difference between the two Micro Biddies.  One has long legs (a DQ fault in the breed, but necessary to keep in genetically as two short legged genes will cause death in the egg).  The one on the right has short legs and also sits perfectly for the breed--chest out, a U shaped back, etc.

Love this picture :)

Our long legged hen.

I have also decided on meat/egg chickens and duck breeds.  For we will use Buff Orps and Naked Neck Turkens for meat and eggs.  Those with great personalities and are good layers get to stay.  Those who are aggressive or have DQ faults will get et.

We will be jump starting our meat chicken harvest with Cornish Cross.  These are the "production chickens" your mother warned you about :).  However a)proper management will keep them from being blobs of feathers with leg and heart problems and b)we plan to harvest early, before they can get those problems.  This will give us time to let our heritage breeds get to eating size.

Instead of Cornish Cross, we might try Red Rangers.  That is still a bit up in the air. 

I have been desiring ducks for the pond.  I would just love to walk out and feed ducks stale bread like I did when I was in college.  We had a bayou running through the center of the school and the ducks were always such fun to watch.  I am thinking about getting a few Pekins (they are called Pekins rather than Pekings :)  Peking duck is the cooked, Pekin duck is still on the wing :)).

Additionally, ducks apparently eat wasps and we have many of those around here.  Those and hornets are the two of God's creatures that I just cannot seem to live calmly with.

Today's task list:  some business, establishing a walking trail in the back 40.   

Bread: Naan

Hello!

I thought I would share with you our naan bread.  I enjoy bread baking, but often run out of time to let a dough fully rise twice and bake.  This bread does rise once (though I am going to play and see if it is necessary), but it has no second rise and cooks on a griddle.

I used this recipe.   It calls for greek yogurt which gives the bread a wonderful texture and rich flavor. the bread, especially buttered and lightly sprinkled with salt, tastes like a cross between homemade white bread and pretzels.

After the dough has risen once, the recipe says to divide it into 8 pieces.  Truthfully that makes HUGE pieces naan.  I would recommend at least 12-16 pieces.  I did not make mine perfect--I love the rustic look of the bread.

Butter and salt (or whatever seasoning you like--cumin might go well with a curry dish, or garlic with a roast) both sides and put the naan on a griddle (I have a large one for making lots of pancakes at a time and it still took me two batches to cook all these!).   It takes only a minute or three per side, especially if you had rolled them flatter (no smaller than 1/4 inch.  Mine were closer to 1/2 inch thick)

Look at those beautiful bubbles forming!  The first side will not have the gorgeous brown bubbles, but the second side should.

A close up...see that wonderful butter and kosher salt?  I am starving already!

This recipe makes a STACK of naan.  These are thick, hearty but not heavy flat breads.  They are also Precious' favorite and a great bread to make on a cold morning or with a stew :)  I could see these also being phenomenal with added sugar and perhaps cinnamon in the dough.  Or maybe some berries or apples in the dough.  And with syrup. 

A note about butter:  I had gotten a brick of Kerrygold butter.  I am not sure if you have tried it, but it has an odd margarine flavor.  In fact, if someone had given me a taste test, I would have said it was Parkay! It is supposed to be from grass fed cows, but truly it tastes more margaine than "grass fed".  It might be my taste buds, but I think from now on I will stick with regular butter.  I used the Kerrygold exclusively with the first batch, but ran out and had to add some regular butter.  It tasted better.  Actually, one of my next projects is homemade cultured butter--I will let you know how that goes--it is supposed to be amazing!

My Indoor Winter Garden

Good morning my sweet friend!

I never had a green thumb at all.  Though I post photos on here of lush landscapes, that is all the Lord not me....I get involved in too many projects to always remember to water faithfully (which is actually a benefit if you grow orchids in moss).   Truly.  I am not a natural gardener, but there is a tender little place in my heart that is often touched beyond reason by a growing thing.

For example, when we were in Alaska, I kept a little gardenia by my computer.  You know, my dear friend, that winter and dark are hard on me, and finding a gardenia in a local nursery was a Godsend.

One day I had been in town and my son told me on the phone that my gardenia had bloomed.  I was pleased and thanked him for the information.  When I came home, I took one look at that flower and burst into tears.  SOBBING tears, shuddering, gasping, choking tears.  Everyone was surprised, including me! :)  Even then the rational part of my brain was thinking "What on EARTH??" while my heart broke wide in two and out flowed salt water down my cheeks.

Grandmother's roses, a "first-real-dance" carnation, a magnolia tree that delighted at a relative's house....all these are little growing parts of our souls. There is something about nature that we crave, that we need.  Indeed when I look at all those beautiful homes in Veranda or Southern Living or when I watch tv, my eye is drawn to the windows and what plants are growing outside, if it is summer or spring or winter.

One thing I love to have inside my house is what I call my Winter Garden.   I stash interesting plants here and there, tender trees that cannot survive the cold, such as my plumeria, some begonias that I have been growing through winters, etc.

They are all kind of leggy and scrawny and "more-or-less greenish", but they make me happy...

ESPECIALLY when one of them starts to bear fruit, like my Meyer Lemon!

I am not sure if the fruit will survive, but the joy of seeing a plant actually GROW is tremendously exciting to me :)  It makes me want to be a better gardener and thankful to the Lord for an indoor summer :)

Cake Plate Treat "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?"

Good morning sweet one!

It is a very cold 6F this morning!  Ice is forming on the pond, and we are in for several more days of very cold weather!

In fact, yesterday it even SNOWED!  Not enough to make snowmen out of, just flurries, so I thought I would make snowmen for today's Cake Plate Treat from a pin I found on Pinterest :)

These are easy enough to do, but I will be honest, they turned out to be a little trouble.  The donuts I bought were the Hostess brand, but seemed too dry and brittle for this (you can see how they are starting to crack).  These snowmen won't stand--the donuts won't bear the weight.  This would be best if they were laid out flat on a cookie sheet then CAREFULLY transferred to a plate.  It looks as if you are supposed to eat them off of the stick, but they will fall apart.

BUT they sure are cute (when they aren't falling apart! :) ).  And even broken donuts are fabulous!

I couldn't even get a good photo, but at least you get the general idea.  This is one Pinterest project that needs tweaking :)  Perhaps a different brand of donut would be better.  Maybe next time.  Or perhaps I will get the chocolate ones (I like those better anyway) and make "Mudmen" :)